Serious matter if you have been cheated on pls read my stoRY?

HELLO PEOPLE IM 27 YR OLD THAT MADE A BAD BAD MISTAKE.. I MOVED FROM NY TO VA AT 22 WHEN I CAME TO VA N SUMMER OF 06 I CLICKED WITH PEOPLE ONLY BECAUSE I STARTED SMOKING AND DRINKING.. NOTICE IM 22 SO I MET THIS GIRL AND SHE WAS TALKING TO THIS BOY AND HE WAS COMING TO GET HER SO I WALKED TO THE CAR TO C WHAT HER FRIEND LOOK LIKE WHEN I SEEN THE BOY HAD ANOTHER FRIEND AND I STARTED TALKING TO HIM LOL HE BEEN IN THE SERIVCE SINCE HE GOT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL SO I THINK HE WAS AHEAD N RESPECT.. SO WE STARTED TALKING I STAYED WITH MY MOM AT THE TIME AND HE WAS MARRIED BUT HAVE BEEN SPLIT BEFORE I CAME N THE PICTURE SO WHEN WE STARTED TALKING HE WOULD ALWAYS COME AND PICK ME UP AT MY MOM'S AND WE WOULD GO TO HIS HOUSE WATCH A MOVIE OR GO OUT TO EAT OR WHATEVER WE WANTED WE DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRIE ABOUT WE HIT IT OFF VERY GREAT LIKE I NEW HE WAS MY LOVE ABOUT A WEEK AFTER WE MET WE HAD SEX AND IT WAS GREAT. THEN HE GAVE ME A KEY TO HIS HOUSE SO I STARTED SPENDING TIME OVER THERE.. MONTHS GO PASS AND SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED I DONT NO. WE STARTED FUSSING AND I STARTED TO GET MAD WHEN HE DIDNT EAT MY FOOD IM YOUNG SO I NEVER PLAYED WIFEY OR HOUSE LIKE WE WAS MEANING STAYING TOGETHER AND NOT MARRIED.. SO THAT WAS A DOWN FALL AND ONE NITE I CHEATED I FELT SO FREAKIN BAD AND THE CONDOM WAS ON BUT WHEN HE PULLED OUT IT WAS LIKE THE CONDOM GOT STUCK. I WAS CRYING EVERY DAY I WANTED TO TELL HIM BUT I DIDNT NO HOW TO HE IS VERY GOOD TO ME. I DIDNT WANT TO HURT HIM AND IT WAS ONE TIME BUT I WAS 22 AND THINKING IM GROWN I WAS VERY HI AND I HAD ONE DRINK I KNOW NOW A DAYS THAT'S A PITTY BUT THATS WHAT HAPPEN'S IN MOST CASE WHEN YOUR YOUNG.I ENDED UP GETTING PERGO NOT KNOWING OR HAVING A DOUT THAT THERE COULD BE TO DAD'S SO HE CAME TO ALL MY DOC APPTS GOT EVERYTHING I NEEDED HE NAMED THE BABY AND WAS THERE THE WHOLE TIME.. I MET THIS GIRL AND I CONFINDED IN HER SO I TOLD HER WHAT HAPPEN ABOUT HE CHEATING BECAUSE LIKE I SAID I WAS SCARED TO TELL HIM. AND I NEVER CHEATED BEFORE OR EVEN HAD A REAL BOYFRIEND.. SO THE BABY WAS BORN JUNE 2007 WE ARE STILL TOGETHER BY THAT TIME AND THEN WE HAD LIL ARUGES SO WE SPLIT CUS OF THE FUSSING BUT WE WERE STILL HAVING SEX NOT LIKE THAT ONLY ONCE SINCE WE SPLIT. IN 2009 HE HAD TO SWICTH THE BABY INSURANCE AND HE IS IN THE NAVY SO THEY HAD TO DO A DNA TEST I WASNT WORRIED BECAUSE I DIDNT THINK THERE COULD BE TO DAD'S SO HE TURNED OUT NOT TO BE THE DAD OMG THE WORST WORST THING IN MY LIFE I HURTED HIM SO BAD I DIDNT NO WHAT TO DO BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO HAVE TO DILL WITH THE OTHER GUY IN MY LIFE I WANTED MY BOYFRIEND BUT HE WAS TO MAD AT ME.. SO DAYS WENT BY AND I HAVENT SEEN HIM AND HE CAME TO MY MOM'S TO C THE BABY AND I STARTED TO CRY BECAUSE I DID HIM WRONG I WANTED TO TELL HIM I CHEATED BUT LIKE I SAID THERE WAS NEVER A THOUGHT THAT I HAD TO DAD'S SO HE HAS BEEN THERE SINCE HIS MOM N STEP DAD KNOW'S MY BRO AND SIS KNOW'S I DIDNT WANT TO TELL MY MOM SHE WOULD REALLY BE MAD WITH ME. SO NOW IT 2011 AND WE ARE STILL NOT TOGETHER IM TRYING TO MAKE THING WORK IM OLDER AND IVE LEARNED FROM MY MISTAKE'S I DID AND IF I HAD A SECOND CHANCE I SWEAR I WOULD MAKE IT BETTER THEN BEFORE.. WE TALKED ABOUT US GETTING BACK TOGETHER BUT HE SAID GIVE HIM TIME AND HIS MOM SAID THE SAME EVERYBODY WAS MAD AT ME BEFORE ME AND HIS MOM DIDNT REALLY TALK NOW ITS LIKE I EXPLAINED TO HER WAS HAPPENED EVEN THO WHAT ME AND HER SON DO IS ARE BUSINESS I TOLD HER BECAUSE I WANTED TO COME CLEAN AND I WANTED THEM TO NO HOW IT COULD OF HAPPENED.. ITS BEEN 2YRS SINCE THIS HAPPENED HE HAS HIS OWN PLACE AS WELL AS I DO HE STAY'E 10 MINS AWAY.. I MISS MY FAMILY I REALLY DO BECUSE I DNT WANT TO RAISE ARE SON LIKE THIS HE IS VERY STUBORN I REALLY LOVE THIS MAN I NO IF YOU LOVED HIM Y U CHEAT I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB AND DIDNT REALIZED WHAT I HAD UNTIL IT WAS GONE IVE BEEN VERY SORRY AND APOLOGIZED WHEN I SEE HIM BEACAUSE I DNT NO HOW HE FELL'S I DONT SAY IT EVERY TIME BUT WHEN HE COME AND GET THE BABY HE IS 4 NOW WE ALWAYS LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN THE EYES MINE SAY I MISS HIMAND IM SORRY I DNT NO WHAT HIS IS I HOPE THE SAME HE IS A GET FATHER AND I COULDNT HAVE ANYONE BETTER THEN HIM AND IF I NEEDED SOMETHING HE WOULD GET IT OR STILL DO IT FOR ME.. I REALLY LOVE HIM AND NOT JUST BECAUSE I CHEATED IM REALLY IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN AND IM VERY SORRY FOR HURTING HIM. SO NOW WE STARTED WITH THE COURTS WE HAVE JOINT CUSTODY AND NOW SEEING THE LAWYER TO SEE ABOUT THE BIO DAD AND HIS RIGHT'S.. ANYWAY I ALWAYS APOLOGIZED BUT I DNT NO IF HE REALLY WANT'S TO HERE IT IDK REALLY THEN I WOULD START TO CRY AND HE WOULD HUG ME AND TELL ME STOP AND EVERYTHING WILL BE OK I STILL CRY EVERYDAY I DNT LET HIM NO BUT IM SURE HE KNOWS I CRY BECAUSE I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR WHAT I DID AND I WOULD ASK HIM IF IT THE END OF US HE TELL'S ME HE CANT ANSWER THAT AND THEN SAY GIVE HIM TIME IDK HOW MUCH TIME BECAUSE IF I STOP TELLING HIM HOW I FEEL IM SCARED I WILL LOSE HIM ALL THE WAY MEANING LIKE NO MORE Serious matter if you have been cheated on pls read my stoRY?
Please never type in capital letters. It is the same as screaming. People do not answer your question because its impossible to read in all capitals. But I did. Here is my answer hun. You will not like it though. Print this question for him and let him read it. If after that he still does not forgive you then he loves his own ego more than he loves you. And that means you have no future together. Its been years since you cheated and he is a grownup military man. He should be mature enough to get over it by now. If he cannot then he never will. You must forgive yourself and move on. Good luck hun.